All her life Ms. Meg had been a miss who aimed to please, a Daddy's girl, a pushover, rather Hyacinth Bucket-ish (Bouquet, you know). Something horrible has happened to her. She is simply not herself these days. Is it the full moon? Or has she gone "sewing mad?"
Have you seen her sewing addie for her Halloween bags? Sheer madness. Why, it is folly, scandalous - she might absolutely ruin her business, not to mention her pristine reputation for all things cute, lovely and good!
People say she mutters to herself about losing her damn pins, . . . and her dull scissors, and not having time to prepare Martha Stewart meals. Wouldn't it be delirious if the sewing authorities put her in the fabric bin, excuse us - we mean the looney bin. After all, with that glazed expression on her face and that sharp seam ripper in her hand, she might be dangerous. Children are frightened, the elderly lock their doors.
It must be autumn madness. If you ask us, she's not well, not well at all. The woman needs a vacation. If you dare, read below to see how she hocks her wares:
Sewed in hideous haste, guaranteed 100% wonky Halloween bags. Each and every one peculiar in its own ghastly way; sublimely tasteless and tacky. Unmatched perfection of repellent fabric, sold entirely without shame at all the best places for only the highest prices. Cunningly conjured up by that persnickety witch, Dollie Dillie.